November 5, 2005
Baby Boomers, for one reason or another, often find themselves suddenly alone in their middle years. They did not plan it that way, but here they are, by themselves and not at all happy about it.
Granted, some are delirious with the idea of living alone and not having to take care of kids or a spouse anymore, but mostly Boomers start to get a bit edgy when living with no one else but their memories and their dog.
Some live alone for years with no problem whatsoever until middle age arrives. Single Boomers, then, may feel an over-powering need not to be alone anymore.
In past decades, singles used to resort to bar-hopping to find a date. A safer method was to join church single groups to find like-minded friends. Sometimes, one or the other approach worked, but, more likely than not, middle-age singles had to rely on friends to find them a suitable date.
In 1999, along came a movie that changed the way we seek that special someone.
Meg Ryan and Tom Hanks captured the imagination of single adults when they made the, arguably, “chic flick” movie, “You’ve Got Mail.”
Presto change-o! The masses of middle-aged or senior adults discovered online dating.
Instantly, we got the collective notion that somewhere out there in cyberspace one could find one’s perfect match simply by clicking and searching online.
College students have facebook.com to keep track of old friends and meet new ones.
High school kids have their own web pages listing their hobbies, favorite foods, pictures of their cars and favorite bands, presumably to attract friends and suitors.
Now, we Boomers can join the fun; that is, if you are single.
Married folks better stay in your own back yards and mind your business when it comes to online dating. Strict rules govern most of these online dating services in order to protect participants from fraudulent perpetrators.
DatingSiteComparisons.com has much to say about trying one’s hand at online romance, “Online dating may seem a bit intimidating, but it can also lead to the match of your dreams…One of the best aspects is being able to search for a match based on things like hobbies, religion, education, age, looks, location, or income. You sure can’t get that by barhopping! Meeting someone online is also very exciting. There’s nothing quite like logging on to see the message, You’ve Got Mail.”
Sounds plausible enough to me.
A female friend of mine gave it a try. We will call her Ann.
Ann studied online marketing research and a rating system that ranked several online dating services. She picked one that enjoyed a high rating so she could feel somewhat safe about taking the risk of putting herself “out there.”
Ann, who is in her late 50’s and has been single many years, decided to give it a try. She began to fill out online questionnaires. Her data would be matched with others who enjoyed the same hobbies, were in the same age group, and had a similar philosophy, religion, or education.
The big day came when the online dating service sent her the results of her match. They had found only three. That’s right. Only three people in the entire country fit her profile!
She said this struck her so funny that she has been laughing out loud ever since. At least she wasn’t crying. “Can you believe it,” she said. “There are only three people in the whole country that I match.”
She ruled out two right away, based on their profiles. She decided to give the last one a try and sent an online photo. He sent one back, too.
Ann has no idea how the computer decided they were a match. So far, she does not see many similarities. He asked if she liked to work out, which she doesn’t. She is still pondering her reply.
Maybe she should use Erma Bombeck’s classic retort, “The only reason I would take up jogging is so I could hear heavy breathing again.”
Stay tuned.
